Guy’s Thoughts

“Oh, Hell, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I’m sorry, please forgive me, I’m sorry, I never knew, and you bottled it up, all these years, Paul, I’m so sorry.”

I can’t move my arms, legs, can’t move my…..can’t move anything, help! Someone help me! My head hurts, feel sick. Its dark, I smell something, rubber, wood, oil, fusty, fusty and damp, I can’t speak-shout, the words won’t come out, and I taste blood. Grass, I can smell grass, where am I? Please, help, please help, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, God help me! God help me!


Yes mom?

“We had better go on without your dad.”


Yes, Katy?

Who are you phoning?

Never you mind, now go and put a warm coat on and find yourself some gloves!

“Mom, will the dog be alright?”

On most Friday nights we went to the Elms disco-Paul and me. We were good friends, -still are. Paul was the shy one, he’s changed. Ten years ago now – I was dating Shirley at the time, but liked my Friday nights out, eying up the girls at the disco with Paul.

Anyway, one Friday night he asked me…well bribed me with a fiver to ask out this girl on his behalf. He’d been eying up this brunette for weeks, but didn’t have the bottle.

Mom where’s dad then?

We had a row.

Never came back last night!

No Katy, it won’t be the first time but it will be his last.

I can see light; I turn my head a little, there’s razor slithers of light, or is it my eyes? I hear voices, very feint, voices very feint…sshh….they’re coming closer….HELP! Oh no! Oh God help me, I’m sorry, the voices, the voices they are fading!

So I take Pauls money, the dance floor was brimming with talent, I teased him, and chatted to a few girls on my way over to his bird, the girls were doing that sexy dance…er…”The Bump” to funky music, God it was dead sexy, so eventually I came alongside the brunette, she was so attractive. I sat down with her, my back deliberately hiding her from Pauls view across the room.

Mom, where’s the sparklers?

On the kitchen table, can’t you see? I’m on the phone!

So there I am, chatting up this brunette, she really turned me on, but she kept looking over my shoulder and ducking and diving around my chest and arms to look over at Paul.

“I expected your mate to come over,” she said.

“Never mind him,” and then I offered her a drink, and another until Paul’s fiver was gone. Then I arranged to meet her at the Dirty Duck the following week.

Paul sat in the Elms disco, alone, all night, wondering where I was, and begging for the brunette to turn up, he told me! he told me!, and when he found out, we stopped talking for a couple of months, but out of the blue, he phoned me up, and he started hanging around with Catherine and me. I enjoyed it – our threesome, because I had the girl. Paul came to our wedding. And lo and behold he bought along my old flame, and they were very nice. Too nice for my liking, sort of false, but smiling all night, never seen them dance at the reception though. Never saw Paul and Shirley close- you know, kissing, holding hands, and all. They both left early, was I relieved? It was sort of spooky. I eyeballed Catherine whilst she sat behind the cake, she was kind of distant, staring over at Paul as he leaned against the bar rubbing his eyes. Anyway, when Catherine and I opened our wedding presents – Paul had sent us….of all things- a vacuum flask! A year or so later when we eventually got around to using the thing – we discovered a five pound note inside; well, I thought – his conscience must have got the better of him – thinking about the cheap present.

My head! My head! Can hardly keep my eyes open, wait, more voices, those shards of light have dimmed, there’s a lot of voices now, help is on its way, please be careful, this stuff will fall, I hope they are careful. Wait, I smell smoke…they’re cheering, someone’s cheering, clapping, I don’t understand, and those noises, bangers, crackling, I hear fireworks….

“Katy!” “Katy!”

“What mom?”

“Come away from the Bonfire, its, getting too fierce!”

Mom, those hot dogs smell nice.

“Katy!” “Katy!” why are you crying?